Perceptions

I was reading a blog post last week and pondering the content and how it might have value for me - or not, when a colleague called and arranged to meet me for lunch. It turned out she had read the same blog and wanted to see what I thought.

"Did you agree with what he said?" she asked, close on the heels of "Hello and how are you," as she slipped into her seat.

Those opening remarks launched our animated conversation - enjoyed with good food and wine, I might add.

"I felt some points were on the mark," I replied. Not so my colleague. "I thought it was rubbish" she said.

We then proceeded to pull the blog apart and lightly tossed our points of view across the table, both of us quoting examples from our background, research and projects to justify our points of view.

When I got home I forgot about it until I was sitting down to write an article for a client. I realised, as my fingers flew across the keyboard, that I was about to launch into a point of view based on a narrow window - mine. This pothole in the road of writing jarred me to a halt as I recalled the lunchtime banter with my colleague.

Was that author wrong as my friend attested? Were just a view points valid, as I had suggested? Probably not. Clearly he was writing from his point of view, from his experiences, from the books he'd read, web-sites scanned and the people he had met and worked with. He was writing and sharing with the reader his viewpoint and simultaneously giving us a glimpse into his bacground.

I know the challenge of being open minded; it takes some effort to be curious about why a certain perspective is presented as fact. We have to set aside our easy rebuttal to seek insight, so we don't just discount the different slant.

Blog posts have opportunities for people to comment, so I asked a few questions and received further insight into the the points of view we had questioned and discounted to readily. It was enlightening.

When faced with information that normally I would have been quick to challenge, I now stop myself and seek more information.
I ask questions like:
"Tell me more about that."
"Where did you learn about that approach?"
"What leads you to think that might work in this situation?"
"Help me understand why that will make a difference?"
"I'm confused, can you give me an example?"

When I'm willing to suspend my judgement and ask for more information, it frequently puts the information into context so I can see it's valid and possibly even helpful now that I have a bigger picture. It's humbling. I wish I could do it consistently, but I'm human and flawed like everyone else, so I will ask my questions when I remember and not beat up on myself when I forget.