Grieving

I attended a memorial service today for a lovely gentleman who lived life fully right to the moment he had a heart attack and dropped where he stood. The shock, although hard for the family, was softened somewhat as they said how glad they were that his end was swift and painless.
At the memorial, one after another spoke of how he will be missed. Cronies, sons and daughters, grandchildren and friends, spoke about the contributions he made and how he was always there when needed. Clearly the loss of this elderly man was going to be felt by many people for a lpog time.
I thought later about the losses that takes place at work and while it doesn't have to be as dramatic or painful as a death, many employees will still struggle when a dear colleague is no longer there. The supervisor who moves to another company, the employee who retires and moves away to sunshine and golf, the manager who heads off to university to enhance career plans, all leave a void that's sometimes hard to accept. The farewell parties, laughter, hugs, jokes and gifts don't make the loss of the person any easier to bear when Monday comes around. The vacant chair, the clean and tidy desk, the outlines on the wall where family photos hung just last week, all remind us of the special contriutios that person brought to the workplace.

Who can we turn to now for that sage advice?
Who can fill the void on the project team?
Why does the vacant chair trouble us so much?

It's been my experience that organizations don't even acknowledge employee loss and the toll it can take on productivity. While it might not be the level of grief one would find at the funeral of a dear departed friend, there is a grieving process going on nonetheless.

There's no question the gap left behind when a valuable employee is no longer there is felt for a long, long time. The wise manager will bring people together to talk about their loss, how they feel and what they can do to support each other going forward. But I fear there are not many managers out there who consider this act. How sad to think when long time colleagues depart, those left behind are expected to start the next week as if we had never existed. Some sadness is normal and talking about the changes the employee's departure has brought about and the void left behind is healing and respectful. So please, honour the people who helped grow your business and the contributions they made however small, even though they don't appear at the office any more. Keep them 'with you' through your memories and conversations so others know they were valued and missed.

Pay Attention

I had the luxury of spending several hours today in an amazing, beautiful, glorious garden covering over seven acres. The gentleman who has been living there for over 30 years, loving tends the land; that was obvious as he took me on a personal tour to show the results of his work. From a rough, unkempt track of land surrounding a charming old house, he has created a masterpiece. As we walked along narrow woodland trails, he pointed to some of his treasured plants, newly created planted areas, giant trees dominating the landscape, someone's superb craftsmanship that had resulted in an amazing nail-free lattice fence and a pond full of colourful Koi.
I had taken my camera along to share the images back home but it was soon forgotten as I realised the images I'd capture would not be able to do justice to the views before me. From time to time my guide would point out special view corridors, open vistas, dense undergrowth, special blooms and even sculptures hidden in secret places that you could easily miss...if you weren't paying attention.
He drew my eye time and again to the petals of a unique flower, encouraged me to bend to smell fragrant blooms, he even stopped me to watch eagles flying over head, striving to fend off ravens intent on nest robbing. All too soon my visit was over and I pulled out of the driveway with a last look at two eagles sadly resting in a tree far from their empty nest.
I reflected on the drive home how far too often I miss the important details of life when I am in a hurry. The time I'd spent spellbound while I appreciated the subtle tinge of colour on a tulip, the colours gently bleeding into each other on a rhododendron, the frilled edges of a daffodil and the different coloured eyes on the Koi, made me ponder how much I am missing at home and at work too.
When did I last pay attention to the bright smile a colleague gives her co-workers each the morning? How often have I missed a worried frown and done nothing about it? Who has been giving me subtle clues that I have missed completely in my 'far too busy to notice' world?
I am so very glad I took that journey today, to visit a charming man who was willing to give me the gift of his time and the treasure of paying attention. I hope I can make the connection at work and see more of the 'beauty' in the office. It's there, I know it. I just have to slow down and look. Then I have to share it with others - just like my generous guide today.

Laughter - at work

I thought I knew my colleague pretty well but on a recent business trip we both learned a lot more about each other and it came about through laughter.

When I ended up travelling with him earlier this week, we used some of the travel time to plan for our meeting and get organized around key areas where we needed to obtain greater clarity from our client. The meeting we attended went smoothly through the agenda and there was an easy exchange of information and ideas so we left feeling pretty good about our accomplishments.

The day was young and with time on our hands we stopped at a local store to make a large, cumbersome purchase which needed to be strapped to the top of the car. So after hoisting it aloft and using ropes and bungy cords, the item was fastened down and we set off. In short order it became apparent that our 'secure' cargo was about to be airlifted. So after pullig off the road and with the aid of additional cords I 'hung on' while my colleague drove. The honks, tooting and waves from passing cars set us grinning. In no time we were laughing hard, and I had tears running down my cheeks. Here we were, creating a public spectacle and minding it not in the slightest. The two professional and dignified people in business suits, who had recently been sitting in serious discussion with the client, were now acting as if we had stepped from the set of the Beverly Hill billies.

In that moment I saw my colleague in a new light and he viewed me differently too as we both realised there's a lot to be gained from forgetting the 'professional, business' image and letting your spontaneous fun-loving side burst free. It was one of the best times we have had together - I can hardly wait for our next 'business' trip!